Monaco - A Travel Guide

The Heart of the Jet-Set

Ah, Monaco. It's sold as everything the jet-set lifestyle is meant to be: the sun of the French Riviera, the yachts lazily drifting in and out of the harbour, the home of one of the world's finest casinos, and plays host to what is called the "jewel of the Formula 1 calendar", the Monaco GP.

It's somewhere to come and admire the boats at Port Hercule, and if you're lucky, to party on board. If you are only human, like me, it's somewhere to find one of the many bars that trace the F1 track around the city and soak up the atmosphere. It's somewhere for luxury shopping, somewhere for celebrity hunting, somewhere to party...

It is all of these things, but only if you have the money to foot the bill.

A Home from Home

Monaco was first visited by Far Out way back in 2016 by Greg for the Euros football tournament (and you will be able to find his write-up on Nice over on the France page very soon). Whilst he would have likely done the guide based on this, since then I've had a chance to really get under Monaco's surface.

I quit the police to go and work on luxury yachts in September 2017, and after a short stint in Antibes I, perhaps inevitably given what I wanted to do, ended up working on a yacht based in Monaco for just over 6 months. I lived on board the yacht, and when I could, made my way off it to go and explore Monaco, France and once spent a day falling on my face on the ski slopes of Italy. Therefore me and Greg agreed our Monaco guide should be written up by yours truly.

So Should I Go There?

In a word, yes.

This yes comes with a lot of conditions. It is absolutely worth coming to have a peek into how the truly rich live, to ogle at the hordes of cars, be amazed by the size of the yachts in both the ports and admire the fairytale-esque palace, the Old Town and the ingenious way so much has been crammed into a 0.78 square mile town built on a cliff edge. But I recommend you make it a day trip. Monaco is less than one square mile and everything in the Province itself can easily be visited in a day. You'll pay through the nose to stay in Monaco itself, and there's just not enough here to fill a multi-day trip. Not that my wallet was up to staying somewhere as expensive as this!

That's my issue with Monaco, it's expensive as hell and hilariously pretentious. If you pitch up without a trust fund and several hundred thousand euros of Daddy's money in your back pocket you are second class, and can expect to be treated as such. You will be looked down on. Status is everything here.

The irony is that Monaco isn't picturesque. The Old Town is genuinely beautiful to spend an hour or two wandering around, and the Casino square has an iconic, if touristy, look to it, but beyond that its giant concrete buildings that were obviously built to get as many shady millionaires in as possible, rather than to create a desirable destination. The street after street of these square, uninspiring buildings makes Monaco look more like a British council estate than a home to the top 1% of the 1%.

The story continues on the streets themselves, with an absurd clash of wealth and practicality. There are several tunnels, lifts and escalators designed to save you actually having to walk uphill (imagine the horror of scuffing a Louboutin!). These can go on for hundreds of metres, and the whole way the walls are lined with marble (or at least something that's similar enough to marble that my uncultured eye can't tell the difference. There are ornate benches on the street that look like they cost six figures, car parking spaces that make more per-hour than I ever have, and occasionally a small, beautifully tended-to patch of greenery.

I'm not a big fan overall. It feels soulless and plastic. It's very artificial. There's some lovely things to see and do but once you've done them there isn't anything to be gained doing them again. Couple this with the fact that trains down the coast are dirt cheap and the rest of the Riviera is so achingly beautiful and densely packed with culture that I just don't see why you'd stay.

With that said, the bits I do recommend are below.

What Should I Do?

Stay for a day and try and visit these:

Explore the Palace and Old Town

This is the historic part of Monaco, the part that's been here for hundreds of years. It's what you think of when you think of historic France: grand stone buildings and narrow streets. It doesn't match the rest of Monaco at all.

Situated on top of 'Le Rocher', literally a rock that forms one wall of the ports, you can get up here either by walking up the old walkways from Port Hercule, or you can walk away from the Harbour to the end of the rock, behind the palace, and a lift carved through the cliff will get you up there without making you break a sweat. If you do choose the walk up, mind the brick flooring, it's very slippery when wet and nearly cost me my camera (not to mention made me look more than a bit stupid!).

Once up at the top, the first thing you'll see is the Palace itself. Home to Prince Albert II, son of legendary American actress Grace Kelly. It looks very beautiful, but is kind of a Frankenstein's Monster: many renovations have happened across the centuries and so different styles appear in different places.

The change of the guard happens at the front of the palace and is an impressive spectacle. Done with similar style to Buckingham Palace, at 11.55am the full march happens and attracts a LOT of tourists - get there early if you want photos.

Wander round the Old Town and admire the views over Monaco and the historic buildings - I found the Cathédrale de Monaco pretty special - and grab a drink at one of the many cafes that cover Le Rocher. Be prepared for a load of tourist gift-shops up there, there's a LOT of the trying to sell you Ferrari merchandise.

My favourite part of the Old Town though is the Oceanographic Museum. The building itself is spectacular, built more on the side of the cliff rather than on it. A trip inside (11-16 EUR, depending on season) reveals a spectacular aquarium, complete with sharks, jellyfish and a rooftop cafe with some pretty special views over the Riviera. This was my favourite thing I did in Monaco in six months!

Admire the Wealth at Port Hercule

This is the largest port in Monaco, and the port that you see on the TV during the Formula One. The reason to come here is absolutely to admire the yachts and the cars cruising the waterfront. A walk down to the port opposite the swimming pool lets you get up close to about fifteen yachts and they are all absolutely massive and immaculately maintained by live-on-board crews. It is an amazing display of wealth. The largest boats here can be around 70 metres long. If that is just too small for you, a wander round the harbour along Le Rocher will take you to the largest boats here - for example Lady Moura pretty much lives here and is 105 metres long.

Visit the Casino Square

The other centre of glamour in Monaco is undoubtedly the Casino Square. Featuring the Casino de Monte Carlo, it's the only modern bit of Monaco that's had any effort put in to make it pretty.

The Casino itself is spectacular, with a grand architecture, several designer shops attached to it, and a fleet of luxury cars parked out front. Many famous faces can be seen arriving here.

There are also some beautiful shopping areas nearby. For example, a little uphill from the casino is the Little Africa gardens, with sweeping paths giving way to some beautiful modern buildings housing outlets for brands such as Miu Miu and Chanel.

If these are a little out of your price range, there is a deeply impressive underground mall next to the gardens called the 'Métropole Shopping Monte-Carlo', with shops more suited to my non-millionaire budget!

Walk the Monaco F1 Track

If you're an F1 fan, you'll know the track is iconic. Because it's a street circuit, you can walk the whole way around it. It's quite hilly at points but it does take you on a tour around all the best bits of Monaco. In fact, the three places I've mentioned above can all be visited easily on the 2 mile walk around the circuit, and there's not much more of Monaco that's worth seeing in my opinion.

I'd suggest starting at Piscine, the part of the track that bends around the swimming pool at Port Hercule. Wander down the docks to look at the boats and then wander along to Rascasse.

At Rascasse, head up the paths to the Palace and explore there. When heading back down, rejoin the circuit, follow it to Tabac and then up the hill to the Casino.

Admire the Casino at the top, and wander around the shops before following the track around and down to the Grand Hotel Hairpin. This beautiful section will take you back down to the waterfront and to the famous tunnel. For me, the tunnel was something I've seen so often on the TV (growing up in an F1 obsessed house does these things to a person), and having the opportunity to photograph the tunnel at night was quite special to me as both a photographer and fan.

Finally, follow the track through the tunnel to the legendary Nouvelle Chicane, scene of many crashes on the track, and follow the water back round to Port Hercule again.

There. You've seen everything I think is worth seeing in Monaco on a 2 mile walk. Grab the train down to somewhere prettier and have a drink on the beach.

Hike up the Tete de Chien and look over Monaco

When in Monaco, you'll notice the whole place is walled in by cliffs, and in particular one hangs above the others at 500 metres. This is the Tête de Chien, or Dog's Head in English, and makes for a good few hours hiking, and amazing views await your arrival at the summit.

A detailed route guide can be found here, and rather than detail the route I will say it took me (a fairly inexperienced and unfit walker at the time), around 6 hours start to finish. It carries you past some lovely villas, impressive geology and the trail is pretty quiet, giving you plenty of time to relax and be alone with your thoughts or laugh with friends without disturbance. Impressive, considering just below you is the most densely populated city on Earth.

Please, please, pleeeeease learn from my mistake and check the weather before you go. Because Monaco is wedged between the sea and the mountains, it has its own micro-climate and the weather can be quite changeable. During my hike, the weather decided it didn't want to be clear and sunny any more and low cloud descended over everything. This meant my view from the top after a long walk looked like this:

Bollocks!

Remember, I suffered so you don't have to.

Head Over to the Medieval Village of Eze

Bordering Monaco on the coast is the village of Èze-sur-Mer, a small, pretty town that's main claim to fame appears to be that Bono bought a house on the waterfront. If you're willing to do a bit of uphill walking though, the village of Èze itself is 400 metres up the cliff, with a trail well signposted from the waterfront. If you don't fancy the walk, buses regularly arrive by the train station (Gare de Èze-sur-Mer), to take you to the town.

Up at the top, you will find a small town that immediately put me in mind of a fantasy village from Game of Thrones or Lord of the Rings. It is incredibly picturesque, with narrow stone streets and old buildings leaning overhead.

I don't have anywhere in particular to recommend visiting whilst here, but I wholeheartedly recommend you come here, explore and admire the views over the Mediterranean. It's one of the most beautiful towns I've visited in Europe. Go here.

Where should I eat?

This is where I let myself down a bit. Because I was working on yachts with a chef (Vinciane, if you ever read this, I miss your food), I didn't actually venture out to eat that much. Its so expensive to eat and drink here. The few places I could afford to eat at and would recommend are below.

Quai des Artistes

A smart, comfortable restaurant serving traditional French cuisine, nestled on the waterfront with views across the harbour. The most expensive of the restaurants on this list, it serves excellent food in a beautiful location. It was my first time trying foie gras and I haven't had better since. Highly recommended.

McBuns

A tongue-in-cheek name acts as a good cover for what is actually a really good burger joint. Not too expensive and gives one of the best seats in Monaco, smack in the middle of the port looking out. A real dirty, fully loaded, big ol' burger and a huge portion of fries. Can't beat it.

Indian Star

This Indian restaurant has a trick up it's sleeve: it's just over the border into France, which magically makes it half the price of eating in Monaco proper. A fairly painless walk from the Casino square, does all the stuff you want from a westernised Indian restaurant at a pretty good price (for Monaco).

Where Should I Drink and Party?

There are several really good places to have a drink in Monaco. As is always the way here, it's not cheap. Beer will set you back around £7-8 a pint, and God alone can help you if you want to drink spirits. The going rate for a bottle of Grey Goose or Belvedere, complete with sparklers, is a ridiculous 200 Euros.

Slammers

My favourite place to drink in Monaco. An Irish-style bar that serves proper ales and Guinness, there's some awesome little bands that play the tiny stage in the corner, and it's always busy. It only fits around 30-40 people indoors and another 20-30 outside, meaning it always has a buzz. I had a particularly epic night here singing the Proclaimers with a dude who was (allegedly) a relation of the Prince of Monaco, followed by me stumbling back home and burning my arm on a toastie machine. 10/10 night.

La Rascasse

This is the namesake of the Rascasse turn on the F1 track, and drinking here the first time made me veeeeery excited. A big place over two storeys, its rocks a decent-sized dancefloor and a huge outside drinking area. It has several party theme nights and the music is always pumping, often with live DJs or bands. Not a cheap place to drink, but the party is always happening here.

Buddha Bar

Up near the casino, I went here precisely once for a Halloween party and it was chaos. A wild night of costumes and alcohol, if there is a theme night going on here when you're in town, go for it. The most expensive place on this list, if you're up for a blowout the DJs will keep your blood pumping, the dancing is mad and if you need a break, the shisha bar outside will charge you a pretty penny for what is undeniably a good shisha. Not cheap, but worth it.

Brasserie

A big place smack in front of Port Hercule, it is proud to produce in-house the only beers made in Monaco! Be careful with this stuff, they have three or four different varieties on the go at once (the seasonal Christmas beer is particularly good), but none of them are a colour I have ever seen a beer before, and all are suspiciously cloudy. It's quite tasty, but more than a few will give you a uniquely horrendous hangover, and if you live life hardcore and really went for it, the sediment will give you a catastrophic bout of the trots as well. There's usually some good music going on in here, and the vibe is more relaxed than Rascasse or Buddha Bar.

Where Should I Stay?

Not here. It's too expensive and not actually that nice.

Grab an Airbnb or a hostel in Nice. You'll have more interesting stuff around you, spend way less money and still be within an easy train ride to Monaco. When the train operators aren't on strike the trains from Nice to Monaco are regular, fast and cheap. When the operators are on strike, remember that whilst you can get an Uber into Monaco, you can't order one within Monaco borders, so factor that in if you're planning to get a cab out.

How do I blend in?

Dress sharp.

Be worth at least 7 figures.

Arrive by boat or helicopter.

Have a trust fund, a property empire or an airline.

Own a minimum of 4 cars and 14 houses.

Your pyjamas should cost 4 figures.

Dislike the poor.