Travelling Through Thailand
Last Updated: January 11, 2025
WANT TO KNOW WHAT TRAVELLING THROUGH THAILAND VIA ITS PUBLIC TRANSPORT IS REALLY LIKE?
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Thailand's Public Transport - What A Ride
Sorry about the quality of the photos in this blog. Due to getting very drunk, I left my camera on the plane. Therefore I had to use my phone. The devil juice got me.
Nevertheless, I'll crack on.
There are many reasons to visit Thailand, be it the ever-changing landscape, wild nights out or its robust culture, all of which play a pivotal role in making Thailand the holy grail of travelling.
However, another icon that exceeds expectations in Thailand is its transport.
Without it, the landscapes, nights out, and culture wouldn't be possible to experience. Furthermore, everyone who has travelled to Thailand has a crazy, frantic story about it.
Tales of hairraising tuk-tuk rides, restless nights on the overnight train, and boats, where bailing out isn't just a bucket scooping water, it's an order.
This Thailand travel guide contains all of the above and more from just one of my journeys whilst travelling through Thailand.
I use just about every mode of transport possible, so hold tight you're in for a bumpy ride (ironic really).
The First Leg, The Full Moon to the Port
This travelling through Thailand journey, from the Full Moon to Bangkok starts long before I set foot on any form of transport.
It began on a pharmacy roof overlooking Haad Rin Beach in Koh Phangan as the Full Moon Party was drawing to a close. No idea why I was up there, but I was.
Well, it wasn't like I had to catch a boat back to the mainland, with a connecting overnight train to Bangkok.
Oh, wait, yes, yes, I did.
I shimmied down off the roof and jumped on the back of a passing 4x4 that was scurrying the surviving partygoers back to their accommodation. Luckily, the jeep drove past my hotel, and I managed to roll off the back and make my way to my room.
As I arrived back, the guys were gathering their thoughts, dignity and luggage.
Still drunk, and our heads pounding, we threw our gear together and raced to the port. Somehow we had made it with minutes to spare, but in true Thai fashion, something didn't seem quite right.
Something was missing, and it appeared, in my eyes, to be a vital part of life at sea. Yep, you guessed it, the fucking boat. Classic Thailand.
There wasn't a sober person in the crowd thanks to the Full Moon Party, and this news was not what people needed.
As the hours passed, the weary faces turned angry, and the ever-gloomy crowd grew. Four hours had passed when the 2pm boat finally appeared. It quickly became apparent, that in true Thai style, they were loading two boatloads of people into one.
I wasn't sure if this was legal or safe, but when people in fluorescents blow a whilst and wave you through, you go.
Travelling Through Thailand - The Sickest of Seas
Nervously, the crowds stood, threw their backpacks over their shoulders and funnelled into the boat. No one could claim to look or feel their best as we squeezed like a tin of sardines onto an already swaying boat.
By the grace of God I, along with my cousin (Rob) and friend (Craig) were waved up to the top deck, which meant fresh air.
Generally speaking, it was standing room only as the crowds poured in, penning people shoulder to shoulder. I couldn't help but think this was how the news stories started.
I began to wonder what photo my parents would use for the local paper. News titles ripped through my brain. I stuck with 'Brit dies on hangover hell-ride'.
News crews hit me up. I'm here all year.
We carefully left the smooth waters of the harbour and made our way to Don Sak pier. Between us and the mainland lay miles of rough seas, and it wasn't long before we realised why the first boat never left. The weather was causing mayhem and seas were at their choppiest.
Unable to move, and all beered up from the Full Moon Party, the swaying crowds fell silent. All of a sudden, the unmistakable sound of a retch rang out over the boat.
As a result, one became two, which quickly became three. The smell of puke filled the air as people were puking everywhere.
As sick sloshed around the deck dripping from anyone in its path, we arrived back at the mainland.
We were fortunate, no one was sick on us, but only thanks to some epic Matrix moves. As I stepped back onto dry land, the news stories vanished, even if the smell of sick didn't.
We had survived but were now very late for the overnight train.
Travelling Through Thailand - The Mad Bus
So far, I've been dragged along a dusty, gritty road in the back of a 4x4. Taxied to the port, and suffered the sicky seas. I've been delayed, squished and come close to having a face full of sick.
Hopefully, the bus would be better.
Well.
We disembarked the boat and ran with our backpacks for our bus. We made it dripping in sweat to the small shanty-looking bus shelter, only to be greeted by a wall of bus times and names.
Having deciphered the encrypted bus timetable, we knew the bus we wanted was about to leave.
Outside, we jumped on board as the driver was starting the rusty engine, and took the last three seats. We finally had a bit of luck, and just maybe, we could make it after all.
That glimmer of hope vanished in an instant as instead of gliding off in a forward motion, as you may expect, we reversed back nearly killing a group of exhausted backpackers.
Luckily we missed, not that the driver would have stopped anyway. A previous bus journey crashed five times and didn't stop once.
Again, classic Thailand. If you've travelled through Thailand using its public transport, you know what I mean.
Second time lucky, we shot forward as captain kangaroo bounced us out of the gravel pit, and onto the main road.
If we thought the boat was rough, this exhilarating drive was a fucking rollercoaster. It made the boat journey look like the kid's tea cup ride at a small village-fate.
Every hairpin brought last night's beers closer to the surface, so I shut my eyes and prayed, only opening them to gasps and screams from the other passengers.
We somehow survived yet again, checked our watches and stepped onto Surat Thani Station.
The Mad Dash - Standard Thailand Procedure
By heck, we had made it to the overnight train, and not only were we alive, but we had 10 minutes spare.
I could have used that time to clean the bus window, but, thought better of it and we went in search of our train. Because as we know, when travelling through Thailand, there is no such thing as spare time.
In reality, we were still desperate to get on that train, so much so we almost forgot our bags back on the bus. We grabbed them and dashed across a couple of tracks, waving our tickets at whoever cared to look.
Which, for reference, was nobody.
We jumped on, found some seats and celebrated, only to find this wasn't our train.
Oh, feck.
The conductor kindly pointed at a rather large-looking pink and black train on the other side of the station, and we set off again.
We dived in, and not for the first time today, had doors shut behind us. Sweating, tired and still trying to hold down last night's beers we looked at each other and burst out in a rage of laughter.
People must have thought we had escaped an asylum or something.
We didn't care though, we were off, to Bangkok.
Travelling Through Thailand on The Overnight Train
Having recovered from the euphoria of making it to the overnight train, we checked out our surroundings. It turns out we were in with the locals and to our delight, a couple of attractive French girls.
I've always found that travelling with locals is the best way to understand the real country. Likewise, it's the cheapest, and often provides the best stories, and in this case, travelling through Thailand was no different. As I said, I don't have the funding of the BBC, so there are no porters, kingsize beds or private toilets in this story.
It wasn't long after we pulled out of the station that our friendly train attendant introduced herself. It was clear from the offset that we were in for one hell of a night.
Why?
Because she was a rather large, loud and proud lady and one hell of a character. She knew how to get the party started. With beers in hand, she literally danced her way towards us and insisted we join the party.
One beer became two, became three.
Snaking her way down the narrow aisles singing, she approached us with the fourth beer. Only this time it was accompanied by a menu. We were in with the locals, and this menu was entirely in Thai.
We had to rely on our new friend, who was more than happy to help and made a couple of suggestions.
Not giving it too much thought, and being us, we went with it.
She disappeared back down the train, with a swing in her step, and a cheeky grin on her chubby little face.
Painting a Picture of the Overnight Train
Food ordered, we finally had some proper time to explore our accommodation. More importantly, the toilet situation.
We could smell it before we could see it. Unsurprisingly, the smell was terrible, and we'd already had enough before catching a glimpse.
What can I tell you, well?
Never in a million years did I want to use it, especially wearing flip-flops.
It was like in the films. A small room just big enough to do the macarena, as long as you keep your feet still on the turns.
In the corner a large hole leading straight to the tracks below. To make this joyous discovery even better it was loud too thanks to the clanging of the wheels and underside workings of the train.
Pee-stained marks covered the wall, and sloshing excrement rippled across the cabin as the train tilted from side to side.
Of course, with our fingers pinching our noses, we giggled like schoolboys.
However, it then dawned on us, that we were four beers in, and would have to use it at some point. I didn't want to use it in the daylight. I couldn't imagine another four hours of use, and then having to go in the pitch black.
The rest of the carriage once away from the smell was, whilst small, pleasant.
On one side of a narrow walkway were tables and chairs, whilst the other had a couple of comfy seats. All of which fold out into beds, with more bedding above. The carriages are all dressed in vibrant green curtains, which compartmentalise each bunk when pulled closed.
In the aisles, shimmering ladders stand out against the green backdrop as far as the eye can see. The sound of people chatting and the buzz of whirling fans are noticeable, but nothing too distracting.
Tonight's Entertainment
After our fleeting toilet visit, we instantly slowed up on the drinking front. That was until our bubbly new friend joined us once again.
She wanted us to dance with her, joke about and generally perform for the carriage.
Suddenly, it seemed like we were tonight's entertainment.
That said, she made the journey one to remember and got us in with the French girls. She was a top wing-woman. Although, nothing beat the lap dance she gave my mate.
As quickly as she arrived, she'd vanished, only to reappear a short time later to an eruption of noise and celebration from the carriage behind. With the noise, came a distinctive smell that filled the air.
Dinner.
Perfect we thought, wrong we were.
The doors flung open, and a smell smacked us in the face. It was like sniffing a freshly ground Carolina Reaper over a Phaal curry. My eyes were burning as she waddled threw the carriage. I just hoped that the poor victim, I mean customer knew the toilet situation before they started scoffing that down them.
I looked back to see who had ordered that, only to see the locals all whispering. None of them were taking the bowls from her. The whispers turned to chatter, and people started to point over in our direction. I looked up at her and saw her grinning from ear to ear.
Her eyes were watering, and her chubby red cheeks were dripping with sweat from the heat of three soups. She burst into laughter as she placed them lovingly in front of us.
Three soups for three idiots.
Now we were the entertainment, but not just for our carriage. It appeared that all the locals had come to watch this one.
I was worried.
Dining in Hell
Having delivered the knockout bowls, she skipped merrily back up the train pleased with her day's work. She knew that she had killed three young lads in one move.
The population of the train were now clambering over each other to watch the show. Our worried faces stared down at the bowl and back up at each other.
Bravely, I dipped my little finger in, barely grazing the surface of the soup. I then licked the smallest molecule, and instantly the pain hit. I couldn't talk and sweat poured from every orifice. My eyes bulged, and I tried to warn the other two, but couldn't.
Fearlessly, or stupidly anyway, my cousin followed. He dipped the back of the spoon in and gave it a tiny lick. He very quickly joined me in a world of pain.
His lips began to swell. His eyes ran, and he too lost his speech.
Our mate Craig, who, may I add, loved spicey dishes, you know the one - who always asks for it to be hotter, gave a cocky laugh and confidently sipped his spoon. The outcome was no different.
He joined both Rob and me in all sorts of trouble. The only issue for me was that I was in too much pain to laugh at him.
We desperately looked around the carriage for support, but the locals just laughed as if they were at a circus. We tried everything, but the pain wouldn't subside.
Eventually, my tongue shrank to its usual size, allowing me to talk. But, stupidly the first words out my mouth were "We have to do this. Everyone is watching, and it can't get any worse, plus I can't feel my face anyway!".
Wrong again.
The Magic of Travelling Through Thailand
Gluttons for punishment, we plucked up the courage, grabbed the bowls and cheers'ed the crowd.
Our new friend ran in as the people erupted. We looked at each other, smiled and downed the soup slamming the empty bowl onto the table. Despite not being able to feel my face or body, unable to speak, or move, other than my eyeballs, it felt like scoring the winning goal in extra time at a World Cup final.
We slumped back into our seats and even that hurt.
People were in disbelief, shouting and screaming at us. It was a madhouse and something I will never forget from my time travelling through Thailand on the overnight train.
Slowly feeling came back, but the fear hit us one by one as we remembered that the toilet was a sess pit hole in the floor, and now, likely to be unrecognisable.
Once our senses came back, which took an hour or two, our friend thought it safe to rejoin us. What wasn't safe, was the smell of the toilet drifting our way. Obviously, others had tried the soup too.
As the night kicked in, we made our beds and climbed in, chatting quietly to each other. The only other noise was poor souls passing us in search of the dreaded long drop.
We called it a night, drew our curtains and tried to sleep.
However, our bubbly Thai lady had other thoughts. Every time we were drifting off to sleep, she'd fling open the curtains and scream in our faces, laugh, and walk away.
Granted, this was funny the first few times. But as the night went on, and our tiredness grew, it became less and less funny.
We needed to stop this, but how?
Our Sweet Sweet Revenge
It didn't take long for us to conjure up a plan, and it was good. I mean real good.
Thanks to some drunken antics on Koh Samui we had a fucking scary-looking pig mask.
The plan was that I'd keep a watchful eye, peeping through my curtain, and I'd cough as our delightful lady was about to rip open my mate's curtains. He would then jump out, oink at her as loud as he could, and scare her half to death.
I watched her from my peephole, as she made her way towards us. Once again, she had that cheeky grin. I couldn't wait to see how this one panned out.
She was just about to rip open Craig's curtain. I gave the signal and waited for the show to start.
Craig came flying out of the bunk, pig mask on, oinking and snorting, well, like a pig, I guess. She screamed so loud and ran down the gangway waking everyone up.
It was hilarious.
Surprisingly, we never did see her again that night. I can't for the life of me work out why.
Finally, we got some peace, and despite the tales of old, it was surprisingly comfortable.
Once I had shut my curtains, it felt peaceful, cosy and frankly relaxing. I would go as far as saying it was the best night's sleep I had in Thailand. But, I did have one hell of a previous 48 hours.
After Travelling Through Thailand We Arrived Back In Bangkok
We were woken at 6am, by people trying to sell us food, and all sorts of crap.
Honestly, no one wanted it any time of the day, let alone at 6am.
Then the crazy lady came over, blowing kisses and laughing with us. Luckily, she gave us some breakfast that didn't destroy our insides this time.
Heads up; we had paid for the breakfast yesterday when we ordered dinner. It's not free.
Having gathered our bags, we arrived on time at Bangkok Central Station. More impressively, somehow we had made it through the entire journey, over 10 hours, without needing the toilet.
We felt rough, tired and confused about what had happened in the previous 48 hours.
It's fair to say we were glad to be off the train. Standing on the platform, we looked back at our carriage, laughing one last time. There was our lady dangling from the window shouting "I love you".
What a fucking babe, and what a 24-hour journey that was.
What I Leart Travelling Through Thailand
- When travelling through Thailand, not all is as it first seems.
- Free food is not always good.
- Crazy train ladies are crazy.
- The Bangkok overnight train is comfier than people say.
- It’s worth travelling through the night to avoid travelling in the heat of the day and it's cheap accommodation.
- The toilet really is as bad as you can imagine. It’s not somewhere you want to go under any circumstances.
- If you can feel your dinner burning your eyeballs before you see it. It’s not a good idea to eat it.
Would I do it again?
You bet I would.
I'd sign up for that adventure in a heartbeat.
Leave a comment
Thank you for checking out my Travelling Through Thailand blog.
I hope I've entertained, informed and either put you off or made you want to take on the challenge of backpacking around Thailand.
As you can tell, it wasn't always fun or easy, but I'd jump at the chance to do it all over again.
If you're planning a trip to Thailand and are unsure of what to do or expect drop us a message on Instagram. We love to help where we can.
All that's left for me to say is to enjoy your travels and if you have any epic stories let us know. I could talk about travelling and adventures all day long.
Thanks
If you're travelling around Thailand, you may be interested in these nearby places...
Koh Samui, Thailand – A Travel Guide
Koh Samui will be a place of memories and stories for all those who visit. Where you at?
Bangkok, Thailand – A Travel Guide
Bangkok will have you jumping for joy or crying into a comfort blanket. You risking it?
Mate I’m sat here with tears in my eyes but happy tears, I love the fact you’ve documented this stuff. Ahhh man it makes me so happy remember all those times
What an amazing fucking trip, the best ever.
I Could read those all day.
So well written, FairPlay man
Appreciate the feedback. Glad you liked it mate. Where next?